i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
