No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
