i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
