I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
