So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
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