you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
