your room smells of hookers.
And success
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Randomize
