He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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