I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
