Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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