Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
