i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize