After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
