So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
It's never too late to be topless.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
