Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
