big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize