Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
