Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
