At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
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