How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
