she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
