i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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