Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
