Small penises have feelings too.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
It's just like the Real World with babies
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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