Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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