I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
