Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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