she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I just found a bag of teeth...
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
He shit in the fireplace
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
