So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
