every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize
