My hand turned me down
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
