He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
