Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
