Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
