He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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