You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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