I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
