yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
