That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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