i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
