it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
