so explain again why im purple
no
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
