obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
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