im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Green mimosas i think yes
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
