I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
