she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
