I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Randomize
