I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
