Pants 0. Shit 1.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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