A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize