oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
