i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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