The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
