So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
