So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
