Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
farters have to be the big spoon...
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
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