i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
