Will you blow on my dice?
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize