why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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