we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize