well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Randomize
