Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Randomize
